We ain't giving up our hair without a fight!
by Demonic lil Angel
Summary: The hair hunt has begun yet again, but now in the past. Ed, Double D, and Eddy have to master the three legendary hair techniques and defeat the latest threat to hair kind. I do not own Ed edd n Eddy.
1. Vevette's journey to the past

This is for Supersaiyangoku, who just found his story writing skillz back.

* * *

Two silhouettes of people sat on a large japanese styled roof far in the future. They looked at the starry sky as they spoke. "So Vee, do you know what we are eating? I am so hungry!" The first one said. His fist went into the air in frustration. The mans hair was a graying afro. Tanned skin, a mustache, wearing the same clothes he wore almost fourty years ago.

"No, sorry Uncle. Mom said it would be a surprise since it's your birthday today." The second silhouette said, stomach growling as well. She had long pink hair, so long that it reached her hip. Big blue eyes like her mother's, wore a black tank with a white and black striped long sleeve inside, and dark blue jeans. Black shoes and one of her dad's gold earrings attatched to her ear. "I'm so hungry I could eat Uncle Jelly..." She mumbled. A star in the sky shone brighter than any of the other ones. "Hey, look. That star... it's kinda fishy lookin..."

"Really? Here fishy fishy fishy! Here fishy fishy!" The man took a fishing pole out of his afro and started to wave it back and forth. Vee laughed, long pink hair blowing in the wind. "Uh, Vee. That's one hell of a fish!" Vee looked up to see the star coming down to earth. Both old man and Vee screamed. The star landed and it caused a giant crater in the front yard. The old man got up and slid to the ground. "It's time..." He said dramatically.

"Time for what Bobobo?" A woman asked, coming out of the house with a Jelly man, some weird orange thingy that looked like a sun, and her husband. She had short pink hair with big blue eyes, wore a jean skirt with a red shirt, her husband had white hair, yellow eyes, black shirt, and dark jeans.

"The hair hunt, it's starting again." He said. Vee slid down the roof and joined them. The star that landed faded into a hole that appeared out of nowhere. "But I'm too old for this kind of thing... and the old hair kingdom ways have been lost forever except..." He looked at Vee. "I taught you the hair techniques for a reason Vee, now you have to save the world." Gasser and Beauty hugged Vee tightly.

"No! Vevette's not going on a dangerous journey alone Bobobo! She's only-" Gasser started.

"The same age you were when you joined me, and don't worry, she's not going ALONE." He looked at Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler, but they fled. Then he saw Dengaku man digging a hole in the yard. "Here's your partner, NOW GO!" Bobobo threw Dengaku man into the wyrmhole.

"How are we going to be assured she's going to be safe with HIM?" Beauty yelled. Before she could say any mroe, Bobobo shoved Vee to the front of the portal.

"Find three hair fighters, they will help you on your journey to defeat the newest threat to mankind." Don Patch then came up to her with his make up on. "SO, GOODBYE!" Don patch took a paddle out and smacked Vee into the portal, then waved a lucky handkercheif at her. Gasser and Beauty both screamed and nearly killed both of them.

Peach Creek woods, MANY years before

Johnny was searching through the rubble and rocks of the fallen star, plank under his arm. The hippie child scratched his bald head. "Where do you think that star went Plank?" He held the board of wood to his ear and listened. "Uh huh, over there?" Johnny was then grabbed by a large bald man. Behind the man was some sort of weird glowing space craft.

"Where am I?" The man hissed, he had sharp teeth and strange alien like armor.

"You're in Peach creek stranger! My name's Johnny and this here is my buddy Plank, do you like arbor day?" The bald man just smiled and tens of soldiers began to pile out of the ship.

Elsewhere

"I'm telling you Eddy, no one is going to want to buy anything at nine at night!" Double D insisted, but Eddy just ignored him. They had a stand set up on the empty sidewalk. Right now they were trying to sell dreamcatchers made from really old string and cardboard with paint on it.

"And I'm telling you that this is pure genius! Why, any minute now, customers are going to be raining upon us!"

"Ooooh~ Pretty lights~" Ed said, looking up from the stand. Double D and Eddy looked up from their arguement to see a big light, coming right at them. The Eds grasped each other and screamed as the star came raining down and hit the stand at full force. The star shot the stand and them back into the grass.

"Oof... What was that?" Double D felt his pounding head and looked around. Ed was looking at some sort of crater in the ground and Eddy was in his arms.

"Look Eddy! It's an alien!" Eddy struggled out of his grasp and slid down the crater. He tripped on a rock and landed on something soft and warm. Double D came to the crater and looked at Eddy below.

"Oh my..."

"Eddy's getting fresh with an alien!" Ed exclaimed.

"What are you guys talking about? There's no-" The dust blew away and he looked at his position, his head was wedged between two globes of flesh. He looked upwards to see a pale face with light pink hair, rosy cheeks and full lips. "Woah..." Ed and Double D slid down and helped Eddy up off the girl. She groaned slightly and sat up, massaging her aching head. Opening her deep sea blue eyes for the world to see.

"Damn that Don Patch... I'm going to take Yaya from him and-" She looked up to see three pre-teen boys gaping at her like fish. "Why are you staring at me like that? Are people freaks in this time era?" She asked the last question to herself and got up, brushing off the dust on her pants and shirt.

"Oh um, hello there. I don't mean to be rude but, where are you from exactly?" Double D asked, sweating slightly.

"I'm not an alien if that's what you're wondering. Now where is the nearest convienience store? I'm starving and just want some instant ramen right now." She said, the growling in her stomach even louder than before. Eddy was still staring at her like some idiot.

"She... seems pretty normal. Minus the hair color at least, do you really think that's an alien Ed?" Double D whispered.

"No doubt! she is from the distant planet of Zertox, who will suck out our brains and turn them into paste!" He exclaimed. The pink haired girl raised an eyebrow. She looked around for a second.

"What do you think Eddy? Eddy?" Double D waved his hand in front of Eddy's paralyzed face.

"Hey, have you guys seen a adorable little white man covered in dirt around here?" She asked. Ed picked Eddy up by the three hairs. "Uh, I said adorable though. DENGAKU MAN? DENGAKU MAN? WHERE ARE YOU?" She yelled, climbing out of the crater.

"Cmon Eddy, let's follow the weird alien girl!" Ed said excitedly, picking both his friends up and following after the girl.

"Dengaku man?" She looked over a fence to find the cute little guy dancing the caramelldansen with a puppy and both of them had tofu. "There you are!" She grabbed him by the head and onto the other side of the fence. The Eds hid behind the trees, following her as she walked through the woods.

"What nice heads of hair, to cut!" She turned to see a hair hunt soldier with a pair of clippers chasing the Eds around. The soldier was about to cut off Eddy's hair when a sudden yellow cloud hit the soldier. "AAGHH! MY NOSE! IT BURRRNNNS!" He screamed, then ran off.

"Crap, it's happening faster than I thought!" She cried out, then threw Dengaku man into a tree and sped off.

"What was that?" Eddy smelled the air and gagged a bit.

"Whatever it was, something tells me that we should follow her."

Farther into the woods

Vee looked through the bushes to see five hair hunt soldiers having a picnic near the river. "Would you like some tea Jeffrey?"

"Yes please!"

"Hey... who farted?" The entire picnic erupted in a blow of yellow gas and Vee ran through. The Eds were hot on her trail. Vee found a space craft, empty. But had empty little vials of DNA from the soldiers. The ground shook, and a large foot came in front of Vee.

"Hello again Vee, it's nice to ssssseee that you have filled out niccccccely." That hiss was very familiar.

"Oh, hello Serpentine. Enjoy prison?" She sneered. The man came out of the shadows to show a man with green scaly skin, a snake tail, yellow eyes, forked tongue, sharp teeth, and claws.

"Yes I did you cold blooded wench." He lunged at Vee with full force. Double D covered his eyes and Ed munched on a rock. Eddy was watching with extreme interest.

"Cmon... MOVE ALREADY!" Eddy yelled. Vee heard him and dodged Serpentine's blow.

"STENCH TORPEDO!" There was an explosion of yellow gas. The stench was so powerful, Serpentine retched and threw up on the floor he fell from the horrible stench. "Word of advice dearie, don't get in my way again." She kicked him and walked away with her eyes closed. When her back was turned, he got up and was about to strike again. Then a small bubble formed from the girl's backside, growing and growing. Ed was watching with wide eyes, Double D and Eddy now had covered their noses. It was like an rocket blast, it hit Serpentine so hard he went flying. Vee opened her blue eyes. "Feel the wrath of the Fist of the Backwind."

"Wooaaaahhh!" Ed grinned. He ran up to her and grabbed her hand. "My name is Ed! Teach me your farts!" He begged. She blinked a bit and laughed. Double D and Eddy came out of the bushes as well.

"So have you been stalking me or something?" She asked, a sly grin on her face. Double D's hands sweated a bit. Eddy's face colored and his hands did the same for some odd reason. Double D held out his sweaty palm.

"M-My name is Eddward, but you can call me Double D if you'd prefer." He said.

"The name's Vevette, but friends normally call me Vee. And you are?"

"Eddy, the most popular and riches kid on the block." He bragged. Vee raised an eyebrow and laughed, Eddy was surprised, normally a girl would roll her eyes or give him a negative signal.

"Teach meeeee!" Ed whined. Vee took notice of his unibrow.

"Hey... do you know what's going on around here?" Double D asked. "Oh dear, who are these people?" Vee, Ed, and Eddy looked around them to see that they were surrounded by hair hunt troops.


	2. Background

Randomness is an epic yes! Know this, Vee was VERY close to her uncle, so she has some of that strange randomness in her.

* * *

"Cruuuud..." Vee mumbled, they were cornered by the mass of hair hunt troops. Her farts were starting to lessen in power due to the lack of food in her tummy.

"Hello again Vevette, how is your uncle Bobobo? Dead I hope." She clenched her fist as one of Bobobo's old foes stepped out of the shadows. It was OVER, holding his giant scissors and smirking at the girl. "Is this your little rescue group? Please, you're even more pathetic than Bobobo was!" OVER laughed and the men joined him. Vee ground her teeth but couldn't do anything to fight.

"Hey Vee, watch this. I know the fart puncher!" Ed announced. Vee sighed.

"Ed, it's called fis of the back-" Something exploded and everyone but Vee and Ed were down. She was already used to smells like this, Double D and Eddy seemed like they were dying. It wasn't a fist of the back wind attack, but it was pretty damn close. "Let's get out of here before they come to!" Vee exclaimed.

"Come to where?" Ed was looking around.

"Just help me get these guys out of here Ed." She said, trying to drag both unconcious boys out of the woods. Ed scooped all three of them up effortlessly and zoomed out of the forest. "Woah!" Vee kicked Eddy in the head by accident.

At Ed's place

Vee had already stuffed three sandwiches in her mouth made by Double D and was starting on her fourth. She sat on the plushy and filthy purple recliner."So you wanna know what's going on eh? Since when does any of this concern you?" Vee asked, stroking a roasted chicken like a cat with a hitman boss kind of view about her. Ed crawled to her feet, begging.

"Please GodVeemother! I wanna fart like you do!"

"I am sorry my child, it cannot be done." Ed looked like he was about to cry. "Can you do anything with that unibrow?" Vee asked, putting the roasted chicken aside and settling into the chair.

"Can you just please focus and tell us what's going on?" Double D asked, his patience wearing thin as Ed performed on how many things he could balance on his unibrow. Right now he had the bed with Eddy sitting on it.

"Awwwww, but Double D! We were getting to the good part!" Ed whined. Vee was about to throw three gallons of habanero sauce on him.

"No! Now put all that down before-" **CRAAASSSHHHH! **Ed dropped everything on top of Double D. Vee pulled him out with no effort.

"I'll tell you if you stop nagging me, got it?" She asked, then sat back down on the chair. Ed sat in front of her like a child waiting for a story. Vee stroked her fake gray beard and acted like an old man. "Ookkaay, the story begins with my uncle Bobobo-bobobobo. But people normally just call him Bobobo." Eddy snickered and Double D elbowed him, shutting him up.

"Where I come from, people have special abilities called super fists. The enemy, known as the hair hunt, wanted everyone to be bald. Most had super fists, and using them, they shaved all the hair they could find. The hair kingdom was also destroyed and all its citizens killed except for Bobobo. My uncle had the super fist of the nose hair, and using it, he defeated the hair hunt empire including Zar baldy bald the fourth. My super fist is my fathers as well, the super fist of the backwind." Ed leaned in, his eyes getting all sparkly.

"It's been years, and now the hair hunt has started again but now there is no one to stop them from taking over. My uncle bobobo told me that three hair warriors will rise and stop the madness, but..."

"Buuuuut?" Al three boys egged, leaning in so they could hear the remaining sentence.

"I don't think that anyone could be strong enough for this..." She mumbled, sinking into the chair.

"Awww! Lemme help! I wanna learn how to fight!" Ed said. Vee looked up at him with big blue eyes and with a cute looking scenery around her.

"Reeeaally?" She asked all cutely. Eddy wanted to gag from all this. "Let's try it then, first, eat this." Vee reached into her pocket and pulled out a green glass ball.

"What is that?" Double D asked, about to touch it.

"NO!" He jumped back, startled. "This is only for Ed to touch. Here ya go Ed!" She threw it in the air and Ed ate it.

"oOoooooh! My hair feels all tingly now!" His unibrow wiggled all on its own.

"That was a hairball, it allows certain people to have control over hair. I found three at a gift shop, even though only hair kingdom people are supposed to have it." She said, then pulled out two more. "You guys wanna join the fight?" Eddy and Double D were hesitant on taking them. "The women will like you even more!" Eddy then inhaled the yellow one. Double D took the blue one and swallowed it.

"Oh my..." Double D's armpit hair felt all tingly and strange, then they grew and grew til they were visable from his shirt sleeves. "This is so embarrassing!" He exclaimed, trying to hide his hair. Eddy wasn't having much luck either, the three hairs on his head were all weird and then buzzing uncontrollably like helicopter blades. He began to fly around screaming.

"Looks like I'm going to have to train you to be top notch super fist users..." Vee said, dodging Eddy as he flew by.

"DANCE PARTY!" Ed yelled, then started up the music. Vee and Ed started to dance randomly while a disco ball came out of the roof even though it wasn't installed. Vee bounced around and Ed started to break dance. Eddy took notice of Vee's dancing and couldn't help but let a small smile of humor cross his mouth before wiping it off.

The next day

"Double D, my mom can lift that thing better, and she doesn't even HAVE a super fist!" Vee said angrily. The four were in the junkyard, Double D was trying to pick up a lead pipe with his arms but couldn't.

"I... can't... too... HEAVY!" He gave up and sat down on the ground. "This is almost as bad as physical education..." He complained and drank some water. Vee sighed and looked at Ed, he was lifting an entire washing machine with just his unibrow.

"Well, at least someone's making progress..." Dengaku man came out of the washer in a shower cap and towel. "Dengaku man? WTF!" Vee screamed.

"DO YOU MIND?" He yelled.

"Oh! Sorry!" Ed said, then threw the washing machine into a trash pile.

"Hey guys! Check this out!" Everyone looked to Eddy to see him flying around and buzzing right through a car. The hairs made a horrible sound, like a saw cutting through iron. "Whaddya think of that?" He smirked and saw that rather than paying attention to him, Vee and the guys were taking a break and playing at a table with videogames and sode at their sides.

"I've got you now Ed!" double D exclaimed excitedly, and pressed some buttons. Eddy hurriedly joined them, his eyes drifting to the pink haired girl next to him. Her tongue was stuck out and she was pressing buttons frantically. He had to admit, it was nice to see another good looking girl rather than Nazz all the time. He looked at his game box again.

"TAKE THIS GAMER PIGGY!" He yelled, quickly mashing buttons and eyes wide. From above, there was a boy in a suit of armor, holding a VERY familiar looking board of wood with a crudely drawn smiley face on it.

"Finally, I have found you Eds." He said, a tooth and green tongue showing. His eyes glowed a strange purplish.


	3. Leaving home

Watch Bobobo-bobobobo on youtube if you've never heard of it. It's awesome!

* * *

Vee's ears twitched at the sound of someone above them. Ed was now doing pelvic thrusts and dancing without rhythym on the table because he won for the third time in a row. "Get off the table Ed. It'll break under your massive weight." Double D warned.

"My eyes, they burn!" Vee cried out, sheilding her eyes.

"Are you calling me fat?" Ed looked shocked and faked a few tears.

"I didn't mean it like that Ed! Just please get down before-" The table broke in two and Ed landed flat on his butt. "You get hurt..." There was the sound of something whizzing in the air, Vee's blue eyes opened wide.

"HIT THE DECKS!" She cried out, then ducked. Ed was already on the ground and Double D ducked. Eddy had no idea what was going on before something sharp grazed his shirt sleeve. It hit the floor, a big throwing knife made completely out of wood and had an angry smiley face on it. Eddy picked it up and narrowed his eyes.

"Johnny..." He muttered.

"THAT'S WOODMAN TO YOU!" Everyone looked up to see that it was indeed Johnny, he had on the hair hunts soldier uniform. "And this is my dear sidekick, Splinterboy!" Johnny held up Plank, who now had shoulder plates and a cape. "And we will soon take over and protest against the use of wood for useless products!" Johnny continued to ramble on about the rights of wood.

"So... do you wanna get back to training?" Vee asked, turning her back on Johnny/Woodman.

"As much as I hate work, I hate Johnny's annoying ramblings even more. So bring it on." Eddy said, also turning his back on the hippie child. The Eds and Vee left Johnny to himself, too deep in his monologue to notice.

An hour later, far away from Johnny

"Okay, try to break one of these..." She pointed to a bunch of old borken down cars. "-with only your super fist." As an example, she took a stink bomb and flung it at one of the cars over her shoulder. It exploded and the car was in a billion tiny pieces. "NOW BEGIN!"

"Uggh! Cmon... cmon!" Double D urged for his armpit hair to at least start moving, but it only just wiggled slightly. It tickled him and Double D began to roll around, laughing uncontrollably. Vee sweatdropped and sighed.

"Try this Double D." He looked up from the tickling atack to see Veetaking out a pair of tweezers.

"N-NO! Didn't you tell me not to do anything like that?"

"I know I did, but watch. _SUPER FIST OF THE BACK WIND: TWEEZER TWISTER!" _All three boys burst into laughter.

"Tweezer twister? Seriously? Is that the best you can think o-" A cyclone of tweezers came after them.

"AAAAGGH! Their rapid plucking motions are making my skin burn!" Double D screamed. The tweezers were plucking and poking them rapidly. Ed was crouched on the ground.

"MOMMY! MAKE THEM STOOOOOOOP!" He wailed. Eddy was trying to beat them off but they kept coming.

"Okay thats good boys! Coffee break!" Vee called out. Then all the tweezers stopped and went to a coffee shop.

"Yo! I need more sugar in this!" One of them yelled, holding up his cup. "Right away sir!" The employee called out.

"HOW CAN A TWEEZER HOLD A CUP? IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ARMS!" Double D yelled. Vee came from behind with a tied up Johnny.

"I found this guy trying to spy on us all. He was trying to hurt the plucker scouts!" Vee cried out. She pointed to the group of tweezers wearing skirts, sashes with badges, and berets. They were aqll crying uncontrollably. Vee lost it and threw Johnny right into a large car.

"Where are my plucker scout cookies? I ordered three boxes of metal clipper mints!" She screamed. Double D and Eddy looked at her like she was insane.

"Er... Vee? Please calm down, you're starting to scare all of us..." Vee reeled on Double D with a scary face. "Eep..."

"Okay then! Now where we?" She said sweetly.

"You... Aren't... Getting away... That easily..." They all heard Johnny growl out. Eddy snapped his fingers and Ed stood alert.

"Ed, get rid of Johnny, he's being weird again." Ed grabbed Johnny and held him over his head. He roared like a lion.

"BACK WITH YOU EVIL WOOD MAN!" He cried out, then threw him straight into a fence.

"Wait! Ed! Stop! It's still Johnny! Somethings wrong with him, I just know it!" Double D exclaimed. Then he looked at Eddy, who was obviously enjoying the show and munching on some popcorn.

"FIST OF THE BACKWIND: NOSEBLEED SUBMISSION TECHNIQUE!" Vee cried out. She flipped through a porno magazine and showed Johnny a very perverted picture. His nose erupted and he passed out. Eddy poked him with a metal rod.

"I think he's dead." Double D got a closer look at him to see that he was still breathing.

"No, he's just going through some heavy shock."

"Let's tie him up!" Ed said, snapping a long rope inbetween his hands. It brokee and it ended up to be a spaghetti noodle.

"Yeah! And then we'll rob him for everything he's got." Double D massaged his temples, his friends incompetence was... unbelievable. He looked at Vee, searching for some sort of intelligence in the group, but the hope was short lived when she brought out a big microwave and shoved Johnny inside.

Cul-de-sac

Lord Bald de bald the fifth sat upon his throne. Right now his soldiers and the bald brainwashed people of Peach Creek were constructing the large empire that would soon be his to rule over. Gamer pig sat in the corner, playing his gameboy but somehow without any thumbs. Nazz came up to the overlord and bowed before him, her pupils pink and blonde hair shaved.

Junkyard, 8:32 PM

"Uh... Are you okay Double D?" Vee asked. The nerd had accidentaly hit himself in the face with a broken tv. She poked him in the stomach with a long stick.

"I-I'm okay... just let me rest a bit Vee..." He mumbled, comlpetely exhausted.

"This is no way for a future hair hero to be acting! You need to get your strength up SOMEHOW! But not with the use of steroids, those things are horrible." She said, now wearing a pencil skirt and white button up shirt, her pink hair in a bun, and smacking a ruler in her hands like some schoolteacher.

"It's so LATE though! I just wanna call it a night." Eddy mumbled, rubbing his eyes and walking out of the junkyard. Ed picked Double D up and followed. Vee sighed and watched as they left, not even caring to mention she had no where to stay. As Ed and Double D left, Eddy looked back to see Vee looking about to make herself some sort of shelter for the night. Picking out a few bits of cardboard she constructed some little hut. She had to kick Dengaku man out of her hut first before finally making it her temporary home.

_Well... better than nothing I guess. _She thought as she crawled in and laid down. Closing her eyes, something tapped on the roof of the hut. Vee cracked open one eye. "What?"

"...I have a guestroom at my place if you wanna stay there." Eddy said, avoiding her eyes as she blinked and got up. A smile bloomed across her pale face and she hugged him tightly. He blushed slightly at her brashness.

"Thank you sooooo much! You really are more decent a guy than Uncle Don Patch!"

"Who?" She stopped hugging him.

"Oh no one you should concern yourself about..." Vee said, sweatdropping and rubbing the back of her head. Eddy raised an eyebrow but dropped the subject.

"Let's just get going."

Cul-de-sac

"Double D... what is going on?" Asked Ed. He and Double D looked at the neighborhood with wide and terrified eyes.

"...I have no idea Ed." The entire neighborhood was dark and all its residents were bald and wearing uniforms. Sarah, Jimmy, even Kevin were now just slaves. Their eyes glowed with the same pink as Johnny's. Some of the guards pointed at them and shouted to the others. "Ed, we need to get out of here it seems."

"But where will we go? I can see Sarah coming!" Ed asked, pointing to the brainwashed and bald Sarah running at them angrily.

"Give into the baldy bald empire! Fist of the big mouth!" Sarah flung a bunch of wild mouths and they began to munch on the Eds.

"AAAAGGHHH!" they screamed in pain.

"STENCH TORPEDO!" Yellow glowing balls exploded and the mouths went away.

"THE STENCH!" Sarah cried out, then passed out.

"Sarah! No!" Ed screamed. He was about to run to her side but Vee grabbed his arm before he could.

"Ed! It's too late. The only way to save everyone is to defeat the empire... DENGAKU MAN!" A train fell out of the sky with Dengaku mans face on it.

"How did a train get in the middle of the neighborhood? There's no tracks for it to even go on!" Double D said.

"All aboard!~" Dengaku man cried out. Vee kicked the guys into the train and Dengaku drove the train away from the cul-de-sac. Double D and Eddy watched as a castle began to rise amongst the houses and purple clouds surrounded it. "Eddy, do you think we'll be able to do all what she said?" Double D asked.

"Who knows. I'm not trusting her though. She's almost like Ed."

"Don't be so misguided."

Eddy looked back to see Ed and Vee playing hockey with unicorn helmets and using large lamps as hockey sticks.

"WHAT THE FU-" The train stopped in an instant and everyone went flying.


	4. First base infiltration

LET THE ADVENTURE BEGIN! :D

* * *

It had been long hours since they left the cul-de-sac, and now it was very dark out. Vee sat on the top of the train, meditating to somehow get in contact with her family. She was placed on hold for a few minutes before she finally reached her Uncle Bobobo. "Vee! Did you find those warriors?"

"Yes, I did! But they're struggling with their newly found powers... got any ideas?" She asked, hopeful that he would have some.

"Hmm..." He rubbed his chin and then brushed his gray mustache thoughtfully. Then he began to do ridiculous thinking poses. Upside down, head stands, hand stands, grand stands, and finally, monkey stands. Bobobo stood on the shoulders of a huge gorilla until it threw him off. Uncle Don Patch then took over the line.

"WHERE ARE YOU YA INCONSIDERATE BRAT? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WATCH YAYA AND READ ME A BEDTIME STORY! TODAY WE WERE GONNA READ THE THREE PIGGYS!" He screamed wearing lipstick and a skirt. Vee had to tune herself out of the meditation so that her eardrums wouldn't explode. Her eyes were screwed tight and she was so into the conversation that she didn't notice Eddy and Ed coming out of the train's top.

"I saw fireflys up here Eddy!" He said.

"This is a waste of time numbskull! I'm going to bed!" He hissed. Then he noticed something shiny flash brightly in the night.

"See! There's fireflys out there!" Ed climbed up and instead of seeing the little lightning bugs... he saw Vee getting beaten in the head with a green onion by some weird orange sun with legs that was wearing a wig and sunglasses.

"YOU DON'T INTERRUPT ME YOUNG LADY! I'LL GET YOU GROUNDED INTO THE NEXT CENTURY AND-" He noticed the Eds and then began to cry. "Please! Help mee!" He cried, then clung to Eddy's shirt and began to dribble snot and tears all over his shirt.

"That's gross! Get offa me sicko!" He shoved Don Patch off and he cried more. "Who are you? And what the hell ARE YOU?" He asked, pointing at him. Vee got in his way and hugged Don Patch where he began to act like a baby.

"Guys... I'd like you to meet my Uncle-" Don Patch shoved her away and she would have fallen off the train if she didn't grab the edge of an open window and climbed inside.

"I'm the hero of... THE FUTURE! DON PATCH!" He yelled, pointing a thumb at himself with much pride. He looked at his audience to see them looking down over the edge for Vee.

"VEE! WHERE ARE YOU?" Ed cried out.

"I'm right here Ed, don't worry!" Vee replied, sticking ehr head out the roof. She went wide eyed for a moment before screaming. Ed, Eddy, and Don Patch turned to see some freaky armada of flying scissorbeaked birds coming after them. Their beaks clicked and snipped.

"I WILL SAVE YOU!" Don Patch used himself as a sheild wearing his lipstick, and rather than saving them, the boys got attacked by the birds, the tips of Don Patch's spikes got snipped. "MY HAIR!~" Screeched the now female Don Patch. Vee and Double D watched them and sweatdropped.

"We must be getting close to the first base." Vee said.

"Yes. But just... who is that orange thing? What is he?" Asked Double D.

"I think he's some sort of weird sun." Vee said, sweatdropping as Don Patch began to teach them all how to ballet dance and breath fire through hula hoops.

The Next Day

Dengaku man crashed the train into the B-base, which ironically, was in the shape of a huge bird. It was wearing swirly glasses and its wings outstretched. "Man that thing is tacky." Eddy said.

"IT'S A GIANT CHICKEN!" Ed screamed.

"Yes Ed! And soon you can have all the fried chicken you want." Don Patch said in his 'mother' phase. Ed cheered and they skipped to the entrance with the other two Eds and Vee following. Dengaku man had again disappeared to some distant place, not to be heard of again until the worst possible moment. The front gate was guarded by this burly man wearing a hair hunt uniform. He smiled wickedly.

"If you want to get to the leader; hair warriors, you're gonna have to go through me-" He noticed Don Patch. "MOTHER?" He screamed.

"JOEL!" They ran at each other dramatically and then Don Patch hit him in the face with a huge salmon. "WHY DON'T YOU EVER CALL YOUR DEAR MOTHER? I SLAVED EVERY DAY FOR YOU UNTIL YOU LEFT THE HOUSE AND YOU NEVER CALL!" Screamed Don Patch.

"I'm sorry mommy! I'll call! I'll call!" Joel the guard put a banana in his ear. "Ring ring." Don Patch took a banana and put it in his ear.

"Hello?"

"How can banana's be used as a phone? And aren't we supposed to go into the building?" Double D yelled. Vee sweatdropped and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't bother. You're just going to make the experience weirder." Eddy sweatdropped too. This was just too weird to really be existing.

Inside the Base

It was dark and scary, bird cages lined the walls and feathers were everywhere on the floor along with seeds. Large windows at the walls were open where birds could fly in and out. "My goodness this place is filthy!" Double D said, horrified at the low cleanliness. There was also bird droppings spread everywhere. Vee held her nose and Ed was going around picking up birds.

"This will be Charlie, this is Victor, Derek, Shelly, Nico..." Ed went on to give the birds names as the others explored through the first floor of the building for stairs or an elevator.

"Man this place stinks worse than Ed's room!" eddy said, pinching his nose.

"Clean up~ Clean up!" Don Patch skated around on a vaccuum and two spray bottles in his hands.

"Hey! I found something!" Vee said, poking a lump in the feathers. The feathers blew off with Don Patch's vaccuuming to reveal guard out cold. "We should probably get going..."

2nd Floor

"Well that's a relief, no more bird poop to sniff." Eddy said, releasing his nose. Ed had to carry Double D, for he was turning very antsy and upset that he couldn't clean the first floor. Don Patch came up behind them and knocked both of them into the ground.

"HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME BEHIND! I'M WHAT'S KEEPING YOU LAZY ASSES ALIVE!" He hit them all in the heads with the salmon that was just about ready to cry. A person came out from the shadows.

"Hello Hair warriors, I was expecting you... and so is our leader. But it's not like you're gonna make it past me!" Vee looked around. "There are over three more levels you must pass... and every one is more dangerous than the last!" He said, flexing his muscles.

"Hey, there's an elevator!" Vee said, pointing to an elevator. Everyone piled in and ignored the man as he continued to rant. "Going up!"

"What? N-NOOOO!" The man ran at them just as the doors shut.

"What a total loser!" Don Patch said.

"Almost too easy!" Eddy said.

"Don't get too cocky guys. The battle is about to begin." Vee warned.


	5. Weirdos in tights

YEEESSSSSS! I HAVE THE FIRST VOLUME OF BOBOBO-BOBOBOBO! *fist pump*

* * *

The ride up the elevator was in no way silent. Don Patch had gotten some weird blond wig and began to sing horribly to the elevator music. Even Ed's ears couldn't take much more of this horrible torture. "FEEEELLIIINNGGSS~" Don Patch cried out, tears flowing down and making his mascara run. Everyone was dying on the floor until they reached the top floor and the music stopped.

"THANK YOU LORD!" Eddy screamed, and rushed out of the elevator. Vee and Ed crawled out with Double D being dragged behind them.

"How on earth did you ever survive with that thing?" Double D asked, ears probably bleeding by now.

"I find it a mystery as well." Vee said, tired. Her face hit the floor in exhaustion and Ed got to his feet with Double D.

"I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING EDDY!" Ed screamed.

"Hey... look!" Double D pointed to the front of the room. There was a desk and a computer in front of a small door. Sitting in the chair was a hair hunt troop, in a suit and typing away. He also had swirly glasses on and paid no attention to any of them. Double D approached the desk cautiously and rang the small bell.

"Yes?" He asked.

"I'd... like to speak to the man in charge here."

"You'll have to make an appointment. The big boss is very busy and is booked for the next week. Maybe you can come Tuesday, 11 PM sharp." He said, not even looking up from his computer. Double D looked at what he was doing to see the man was only playing solitare, but he was pressing so many buttons. Eddy pushed him aside and slammed his hands down on the desk.

"I demand to see your boss RIGHT NOW!" He ordered.

"Sorry sir, but the big boss is-" Eddy was shoved aside by Don Patch and then the secretary was slapped repeatedly in the face, then he was forced to press the button.

"Was that really nessacary Don Patch?" Asked Double D, rubbing the bump on his head.

"CARROTS!" Don Patch screamed, running into the boss's room. "YOU NEED YOUR VITAMIN A MR!" He screamed. A huge shadow loomed over him, and punched the guy straight into the wall. The guy came out revealing to be wearing a ridiculous outfit somewhat like a carnie's. Except he had a bucket of chicken on his head. Chickens flocked everywhere in the room, and there was a few hen houses and a cage containing some roosters.

"That's just such a waste of food." Vee said.

"CHICKENS!" Ed screamed, then picked up some and shoved them into his pockets and hugged even more, not even caring for their pecking and clawing at his skin. Double D flinched at the enormous quantity of chickens in one confined space. The clucking never ceased to end.

"We are here to defeat you..." Double D hid behind Vee as he said this.

"I am known as Chikon!" There was silence in the room before all the humans and oneweird orange thing in the room burst into laughter.

"FWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! THAT'S SUCH A RIDICULOUS NAME! CHIKON!" Don Patch laughed. Chikon roared and smashed his fists into the floor.

"You will all meet your demise!" He yelled.

"Ed! Now is the time to put all that training to the test!" Vee yelled. Ed turned and faced the huge man.

"SUPER FIST OF THE UNIBROW! SUMO MARATHON!" Ed cried out. Now everything was a freaking sumo arena. Vee, Eddy, Edd, and Don patch sat in the stands. Don patch snacked and the rest of them watched Ed and Chikon circle each other. On the other end of the arena, the chickens sat there eating corn from a bag.

"SHOW HIM WHO'S BOSS ED!" Eddy yelled.

"DON'T DIE ON ME! I PUT A LOT OF CASH ON CHIKON THOUGH! HE'S GONNA THROTTLE YOU!" Don Patch yelled.

"JUST IGNORE HIM AND FRICKING WIN!" Vee yelled. Ed was getting dizzy from all these orders. Chikon and Ed then tried to push each other out of the ring, Chikon still had his chicken hat on and Ed was looking at it hungrily. He hadn't had a decent meal in 24 hours.

"RRROOOOOAAARRR!" Ed jumped and tackled him by his head, and the giant fell down in one blow.

"This is like a reenactment of David and Goliath!" Double D said. "But in sumo wrestler style..."

"Which adds to the awesomeness! WWOOOOO GET THAT CHIKON TIL HE BLEEDS ED!" Eddy yelled. Vee went off the bleachers and began to hunt around for a map of some sorts. But before she could, Chikon threw Ed into the main controls of the building, making him his the self- destuct button. The whole building began to shake.

"HOLY SHIT!" Eddy screamed. Vee screamed and clung onto him for dear life, making him blush.

"We need to get out of here!" Double D screamed.

"NO KIDDING?" Don Patch yelled sarcastically. Vee let go of Eddy, and remembering what her uncle used to tell her 'When in doubt, eggrolls are a great side dish.'

"HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HELP US?" Double D yelled. Don Patch came crashing in a yellow buggy wearing a eggroll costume. "HUUUHH?"

"OUT OF MY WAY! I'M LOOKING FOR THE SAUCE!" He yelled, then crashed right through the wall.

"And there's our exit! Alley oop!" Vee jumped the tower. Eddy followed and Double D looked down, reluctant. Then Ed grabbed him and jumped. Double D screamed like a little girl as they fell down and landed on Don patch's roof.

"Aww... I'll never get those dents out. YOU LOUSY KIDS!" Don patch shook them all off and chased after them into the sunset angrily, swinging his green onion back and forth.

"I don't think I can handle all of this!" Double D screamed.

"Too bad because you have to!" Eddy yelled.

The Next Day

"Good morning guys..." Vee said, getting out of her favorite pink and blue sleeping bag. Ed just came out of the woods, holdlng a bunch of fish from the trees.

"Who wants tree fish?" Ed asked. Double D took one and roasted it over the fire.

"Weird... how do you get the fish?" Vee asked.

"Don't ask." Double D said.


End file.
